Week 9 Story: The Magic Potion
Image Credit. 5 Nagas and Their Role in Hindu Mythology. Source: Google Images.
When Bheem woke up he looked around in awe of what he saw. He was in an underwater castle and was surrounded by snakes and he could breathe under the water. His memory came rushing back to him and he sprang to his feet. He knew that these snakes were a threat and did not plan to be caught by surprise again.
"Calm down Bheem. I am Vasuki, King of the Snakes, and they have been commanded not to harm you."
"Vasuki? King Vasuki I mean. Thank you so much for sparing my life!"
The king threw a feast in honor of Bheem. He had a wonderful time at the feast and found that the snakes were actually good company. However, he knew he had to return home very soon.
"Great Vasuki, thank you for the wonderful feast. However, I must return back to the world on dry land now."
Vaskui was so sad to see Bheem leave so quickly and wanted to give him a gift that would help him survive the world above.
"Bheem, I shall bestow upon you this magic potion. Drink of it and think of what you want it to do and it will be done."
Bheem thought about it for just a few seconds but immediately knew what he wanted from the potion. He drank the potion and thought hard about what impact he wanted it to have. From that day on there was lasting peace in the lands that Bheem set foot in for his wish was to spread peace and kindness wherever he went.
Author's Note:
I gave the story of Bheem receiving the magic potion from Vasuki. I wanted Bheem's magic potion to have more of an impact than it did in the original story. I figured lasting peace is definitely more impacting than super strength.
Bibliography: Mahabharata: Karmic Revolution.
Hello Hannah,
ReplyDeleteI really like that the took something small like the magic potion and turned it into your own twist and gave it a larger element. Personally I like when writers notice the small things in stories and make them the main element of the retelling. I also like how you put a positive light on his boon and how it spreads positive energy. Overall great story and I really enjoyed it.
Hi Hannah!
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story and I feel you did a good job getting the point across in a clear and easy to read way. I like how you picked one thing out of the stories and elaborated on that one piece to give your spin on how the story may have went. The use of different lines to signal different dialogue was used really good and it was always easy to follow who was talking at each line. I think the only thing that I would do is expand a little on the ending. I feel that the ending just ended in one line and I feel it could be expanded upon a little more.
Hi Hannah,
ReplyDeleteI think this is a good short story that conveys the moral of the story well. I think some more background information or details of the surroundings would be a good addition. I also would love to read more in your author's note. I like that you chose to change the ending to something more meaningful. The picture you chose also compliments your story very well. Can't wait to read more!
Hey Hannah! I enjoyed your retelling of the origin story for Bhima's powers. And I thought your twist of the potion causing peace was a very interesting thought. It makes you wonder how much the Mahabharata would change if Bhima had received a different power than he did. The only recommendation I have to make this story better is to elaborate on the story ending. It seemed like it ended a little too fast.
ReplyDeleteI was also intrigued by this part of the story! This little side story about Bheem seemed so random, but conceptually the idea of him visiting this underwater Kingdom is very compelling visually since most of the action in the Mahabharata is on land so this change of scenery is a nice change of pace. Since he is known for his physical strength, your take that he would have such strong morals as to use his magic potion for the sake of spreading peace gives this character depth that the original doesn't. Since you're working with such an unusual setting below sea level, I wonder if you considered providing more description? I think it could only enhance this great story you've got here!
ReplyDeleteHi Hannah!
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of making the potion something greater than just Bheem’s strength. Your story makes me wonder what kind of changes this potion brings to the rest of the Mahabharata. I would love to know if this peacemaking worked on Duryodhana and the Kauravas to prevent the battles that happened. Vasuki must be pretty powerful to be able to grant world peace!
Hey Hannah, first of all, I loved how you changed the original story into a more impactful on in yours! Your story is very well-written and I liked how you ended the story with a positive note. Lasting peace is most definitely more impactful than just a person with super strength.
ReplyDelete